Deedra
Photographer/Student

I grew up in a small rural community. I am the third of four girls, so I have been surrounded by females my entire life. I was raised going to church and had a large amount of conservative influence. Currently, I am in my third year of college. I have now started to develop my own ideas and opinions about life, and while doing so have discovered a little bit more about myself. I have drifted away from the place that I grew up, and started out on a new journey.

Until recently, I have never explored my sexuality. I never felt like I was sexy, or that I was appealing to others. So, when Dan approached me concerning his project I was interested yet hesitant. I had never been a model for anyone before, let alone a model confronting my own sexual inhibitions. I decided that it wasn’t a complicated task, and that whatever I found to wear would be sufficient. I grabbed a sheer loose shirt, red panties and black leg warmers. I chose the shirt because it would cover me enough that I would feel comfortable with the images after they were produced, yet it was sheer and loose, so there was still an alluring factor. I then chose the red panties because of the sensual color, and they were the only underwear that was relatively skimpy. I have never worn sexy underwear because I have only ever been the one to see them. I added the leg warmers to the ensemble for fun. They created sort of an alter ego almost. I wore dark eye makeup, and kept my hair down with its natural wave, but I tousled it a bit. As I think back, I realize that I was creating some kind of character, but one that I believed to be sexy.

I think that what I find so interesting about the idea of self-objectification is the fact that is inevitable. I do it everyday when I fix my hair, put my makeup on, and choose an outfit to wear. Whether I am trying to impress men, women, or myself.