Kara Jean
Pet Care Provider/Student

My outfit choice was not for a significant other, nor was it intended to seduce or help me acquire a future partner. In fact, I’m sure it’s not what a lot of people would consider even remotely sexy. This outfit was intended for me to be desirable to myself. The idea of loving yourself is something I’ve never been able to do, but I’ve come to realize in this last year that self-love is the only stable thing you can count on in unstable times and especially after all others have abandoned or betrayed you. To have the comfort of being okay with who I am, what I look like, my personality, and everything that goes with it is what I’m working toward.

The self that I desire to become is a confident, strong, stable, and capable person. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, which was a surprise to many friends mostly because I appear pretty normal and well adjusted. However, I’ve lived with depression and anxiety for my entire life, and have adapted to appear normal in order to function in society. Essentially, I’ve learned to be an expert at faking confidence. I’m tired of faking it. I want to actually feel it.

My choice of the A-shirt, slightly oversized boot-cut jeans, and the double holed belt was my way of putting on a costume that best conveyed the idea of a strong, confident, and capable person. I chose the shirt specifically because of the kind of people who wear these shirts, both in popular media and in real life. Skin tight and thin, these shirts show off a lot about the body leaving the wearer vulnerable and exposing the good, the bad, and the ugly about the shape of their bodies. It’s a daring move to wear a shirt like this and can look bad easily on the wrong body type. I wear these jeans and feel good about myself, despite what anyone else thinks. They are oversized due to unintentionally losing 21 pounds over the summer. Black leather belts have an air about them that communicates order and control.

I’ve had a lot of life changes this year, many of which have changed my life forever. Because of the startling and traumatic changes, I am rebuilding my identity for the purposes of self-improvement. This project helped me put into words exactly what I was (and am) currently doing, and what I hope to achieve.