Sara
Barista/Cancer Survivor

When it comes to feeling desirable or sexy, aggressive chemotherapy tends to take a lot away, treatment by treatment. Sickness, weakness, weight loss and of course, hair loss all contribute to an overwhelming feeling of a loss of identity. So I ask myself, six treatments into defeating Lymphoma, what’s left to feel sexy about? My confidence.

It’s always been there, first intimidating boys in high school, and later on attracting the right one into my life. Now, more than ever, after everything, I feel confident. I feel confident that I am beautiful in my own way, without hair, without health, without strength. I hope these photographs show this. I hope you can see that after everything, I’m not afraid.

I chose this dress for a few reasons: I love red and I love paisleys. It’s flashy, loud and form fitting, but at the same time classic. Not to mention that after the weight loss of the last few months, it fits better than ever. Add some bright red high heels, and I’m feeling glamorous, in a punk-rock pin-up sort of way.

I chose not to wear make-up. I like my eyes and I feel like they speak for themselves. I’m proud of my tattoos and my biopsy and port installation scars. They remind me of where I’ve been.

What this experience has shown me is that when everything else is whittled away, what makes me feel beautiful and desirable is still there, radiating out from within.

I hope these photos show a phoenix, rising from ashes- beautiful, reborn, alive.