Stephanie
Administrative Assistant/GLBT Activist/Church Board Member

In the beginning, I knew. I was born female. I was born into a male body. I don’t remember coming to this conclusion. I just knew.

In that “truth,” I tried to play by the “rules” and the “roles.” Every moment of my conscious existence was an exercise in futility. A battle between who I was, and who I thought I needed to be. For 48 years, I struggled. The woman on the inside of me lay dormant, like a seed awaiting the springtime, unable to grow in the absence of light. The woman on the inside of me fought for her very life. Forced into the shadows. The ever increasing torment leading to a new truth: Death would come, and the pain would finally end.

When things became so bad that I just couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to pursue the woman of my soul. Enter the light. By the grace of God, through the love of many, in the moment that waited a lifetime, I was born. “God, bless your daughter, for the faith she has shown in you.” These are the words I heard as I took communion for the very first time.

In the last three years, Stephanie has experienced life. She is no longer bound by the leashes of society. The truth. God’s truth. I am a woman. Today, my soul reaches into the unknown with the innocence of a child, and the faith that comes from having seen the difference between fighting God, and surrendering to God.

When asked to be a part of this project, I gave very careful thought to how I would pose, and for whom. I have been blessed with a gift. The same precious gift that most 3-year old girls have. It is mine. And I will keep it to myself until I find the one with whom I will share all of me. In the meantime, I stand in the living room turning circles, twirling around like a little girl. For in my soul, this is who I am. After all, I have only been alive for a precious three years.